Starting over

Things have changed significantly over the past few months with sub and I. I believe I have helped him see himself in a better way. His self esteem is higher and I think he realizes he is worthy of the things he has always thought that he was not good enough for. I tell him daily how amazing he is, how attractive and sexy he is. I try to show him that he is loved, and he absolutely deserves to be loved. This seems to have caused his desire to be dominated to lessen. Almost vanish. Or possibly hidden deeply. He has this natural desire to be loved. It runs much deeper than other men I have met. So maybe he still wants to be dominated, but knowing I couldn’t be that, maybe he is choosing to hide his desires. He doesn’t communicate things easily and has a hard time asking for things he wants. So I don’t know if he wants that anymore or if he has enough confidence to not desire those things anymore. I can honestly say we are the closest thing to a normal couple that we have ever been. That’s what I wanted when I first met him. read more

Sex only occurs in the mind.

BDSM is an ideology, and like all ideologies, it works backward from desired conclusions. This is how expressions that are so obviously meaningless, like “abuse is not BDSM” can be so easily accepted as having meaning. Starting with an ideal or a conclusion and then creating its justification means that you perceive reality with self-imposed blinders. read more

Mastering others requires power, mastering yourself requires strength.

I haven’t blogged in a while because Mommy and I have been busy vacationing. We began with a sailing trip on a nearby lake. As we rode the schooner, we drank wine, and the weather was perfect, sunny, warm, but with a steady breeze that refreshed. We concluded the vacation with a day-long visit to an upscale spa, spending most of our time drinking wine and cocktails in a large, outdoor, hot massage pool that has natural rock waterfalls. read more

I honor her by my own annihilation

I have been reflecting on the nature of service and its implications. I am of course speaking of service in personal relationships, not as part of financial transactions. Outwardly, it appears that the servant performs a task, so the person served does not have to expend effort on that task. The benefits and the beneficiary are clearly apparent. read more