Recently, M has been learning about chastity and expressed an interest in it. She was surprised to learn that I already purchased a device with this in mind, and I think she was initially hurt that we didn’t purchase it together. But, as I told her, its not that simple.

There is no "perfect" device out there, and unless you get lucky with a cheaper device, you will likely need a custom device to wear long term. I have done this research, tested multiple devices, and figured out exactly the measurements I need for my particular anatomy. If I had done all this with M, it would have taken months, maybe even years to figure this all out from scratch, and by then, the delay and frustration may turn us off the idea.

I bought a Mature Metal Jail Bird that fits me quite well, though minor adjustments in the future could make it fit more perfectly. The Jail Bird is widely considered to be the best product on the market right now, and it fits all my main criteria. It is stainless steel, so it is sturdy and clean. It has a fixed ring (no hinges that pinch). It has an open design that is easy to keep clean, so the device can be worn for long periods of time without removal. And although it is a very utilitarian design, its aesthetics are pleasing to me.

I really like stainless steel, and almost every day, I wear an Omega ring from Gear Essentials, which is the heaviest fixed ring that I am aware of. I have been thinking of trying to wear this above my chastity cage to give everything added weight.

Although many online would disagree, I think that anyone trying chastity should not invest money in a custom device until they are sure that they want to try for serious, long-term use. I advise initially getting cheap, mass produced cages to decide on the style you like and to help gauge the size you need. It can take a while to learn what ring size is optimal, for example. This will give you time to decide if this is what you want, and if you never go beyond "playing" at submission, then this is more than enough. Its only when you are serious about giving up control of your own body that you may want to seek out of more custom device, which will mean spending hundreds of dollars.

For several years, while I was unowned, I "played" on my own with several different cage styles. I knew my ring size from wearing cock rings for several years prior, and after a little trial and error, I finally got a Jail Bird that is a good fit for me. No woman has yet held the key to that cage.

My only prior experience with chastity that was semi-serious was in my female led relationship with J. This was just over a decade ago, when options and knowledge about chastity were very limited, as it was still a pretty new idea then. The product that was widely considered the best at the time was the CB line, and I bought and wore a CB-6000. Its still a surprisingly popular option today.

The CB-6000 had many shortcomings. It is plastic, and a closed design, so keeping it clean was a challenge, and ultimately, it had to be completely removed once or twice a week to clean thoroughly. It has a hinged ring, which is painful to wear even if it doesn’t pinch when it closes. The truth is that even with a fixed ring, irritation on the lower part of the scrotum is common, and I had to learn the hard way the value of keeping that area constantly lubricated.

J and I were both new to chastity. When the device came, she said that she was very nervous about using it, which surprised me, as I was the one who would be wearing it! We were also both new to FLR, and she came from a BDSM background, so for all these reasons, she couldn’t consistently enforce the chastity. She would let me out to masturbate, supervised, once or twice a week, and gave in very easily when I begged for release. So I can’t really say I was denied. And in general, she underestimated the amount of responsibility and work is involved in being the dominant partner in a full time D/s relationship, and the relationship lost its momentum in other areas too.

It was not a successful attempt at chastity, but it was a learning experience I wouldn’t have to go through again. I am now confident in the device I have, and confident that I can be denied for extended periods of time. I hope that M will be firm and merciless in her enforcement of my chastity.

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