M visited me last night and just left this morning. We spent the evening talking, sharing our thoughts and feelings while drinking wine. She left me a handwritten note this morning that said "you are going to make a great wife." It thrills me when she says this. I want to be her possession, spending my days working for her and hopefully making her happy.
I have been wearing the cage on my cock since Sunday, and its surprisingly comfortable. Even when I try to get hard, and strain against the bars, and my cock and balls are being stretched out in front of me from the straining, I feel no significant discomfort. I think I could live with this permanently on me, never removed, until I forget what it ever felt like to have an erection.
The cage is a constant reminder of M, and she seems to like the idea of me being caged too. I have to pee sitting down at work. I have to move more carefully when I exercise in the morning. But even yesterday, I ran outside for three miles with it on comfortably.
Before going to bed last night, I gave M a massage, and then returned to what is becoming my favorite activity: worshipping her ass. Her ass is beautiful. I love to rub my face all over it, kiss it, stick my tongue into it, bite it and suck on it. M seems to enjoy those things too, and she says she likes the marks left by my enthusiasm. This is how our sex life is now. All the time is focused on her, making her feel good, giving her orgasms, without any relief for me.
This past weekend, M probed me to see how far she could push me sexually. She asked if I would like to get fucked with a strap-on. I’ve never done this before, and I worry that it might hurt, but I told her that yes, I would like it. If that’s how she wants to use my body, how can I say no?
She also talked about another man fucking her. Would I like to sit in the corner and watch him give her a pleasure that I am incapable of? She likes it when guys cum inside her without a condom. Afterward, would I lick her dirty, used pussy clean? I’ve never tasted another man’s cum before, although a few times I’ve been made to eat my own. Will I be able to do this when the time comes? Will M give me a choice? If she forced me, I would be unable to resist her. And even more than that, if its something she wants, then its something I want to do for her, even if it is difficult for me.
M met a man last week that is a big, manly, alpha male, completely unlike me. She said that he made her wet. She showed me his picture and tells me that she’s texting him, although she hasn’t offered the details of the messages. She clearly fantasizes about him. And this is our sex life too: I am committed to her exclusively, but she retains complete sexual freedom. This is both natural and right.
She sometimes tempers these thoughts by saying that she is "not a slut" and therefore unable to have sex with a lot of men. I don’t think that the label "slut" and the negative value judgment it implies has any meaning here. She is a beautiful woman, desired by many, why shouldn’t she do anything she wants to do sexually? It isn’t acting like a slut, it is simply her exercising her natural sexual power as she sees fit, without anybody being able to judge it.
She has also talked a few times about having multiple slaves, and I agree: why shouldn’t she have as many slaves as she desires? My younger self would have responded to this with feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, but now I think I would easily accept being one of many slaves serving her. Its right that she should have this. She is a Goddess, and how can someone as lowly as me ever think I could possess a Goddess? I cannot possess her, I can only be her possession. I am happy just to be allowed in her presence.