A few days ago, M gave me specific rules for me to follow in public, so that I will be the perfect boyfriend. I have condensed them into the following list:

  • Open the car door whenever M gets in, no matter who’s driving.
  • Open the door to all buildings and place my hand on the small of M’s back and gently guide her in.
  • Pull M’s chair or bar stool out for her.
  • Sit only after M sits.
  • Stand when M leaves the room, and when she comes back in, stand and seat her.
  • Compliment her often, sincerely.
  • Be more proactive about showing affection.
  • Put her coat on her when she is cold.
  • M will be the first to speak if approached by people.
  • At home, I will order food and drinks for both of us. Everywhere else, M will order for me.
  • If we encounter someone I know, even exes, I am to introduce her as my girlfriend.

The first several are things I try to do anyway, as they are general chivalrous things, but I do sometimes forget. And sometimes, the way chairs are set up in restaurants makes pulling out M’s chair awkward, especially as she likes to sit in corners. And of course, being proactive about giving compliments and showing affection is hard for me, as its hard for me to initiate action in general, but she insists that I will have to learn to change.

Clearly I can, and should do a better job, so I have printed this list out and put it in places where I can see it regularly and be reminded of what I need to work on: taped to my bathroom mirror and in my car.

I told Mommy that I was getting used to the idea of her ordering for me at home too, and would be open to this. Yesterday morning when we were out to breakfast, she informed me that I would be telling her what I want, and she would be ordering it. We did this, and when the waitress had questions about my order, not sure what to do, I responded to the waitress, but did so looking at Mommy, and my responses sounded more like questions. After, I asked Mommy if that was OK because I didn’t know what to do in that moment. Mommy said that was OK, but that in the future, I will tell her the response I want to give, and then she will tell the waitress, to further add to my humiliation.

Mommy says she will train me to be the perfect little wife for her.

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