I had a wonderful weekend with Mommy, although it was very busy. She met my family for the first time when we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant at a local casino. The next day we took a road trip to my hometown, and I showed her around. As we drove through the countryside, she pointed out properties and homes that had features she liked. The one thing she kept referring to was how we should live somewhere where I could be kept naked all the time, even outside.

At one point over the weekend, Mommy said she read a blog post about a man whose owner kept him chained constantly, even when he was asleep. I don’t know exactly what Mommy had in mind for me, but she seemed to like this idea very much. I got the impression that she had been thinking about it a lot since reading about it.

Mommy had been looking online recently at new motorcycles that she wants to buy, but she lamented that she wasn’t able to afford them. Knowing how badly she wanted one, I suggested that I could help her pay for it. And so, we looked at bikes for sale while we were on our road trip.

Several times over the weekend, we had special intimate moments. During one, we simply held each other close and kissed each other and just reveled in the intimacy. But even during these special moments, I am now so incredibly horny again. Its all I can think about, and sometimes, I feel almost short of breath from the anxiety of the extreme desire to cum that I know won’t be fulfilled. I have reached the point where I don’t think of cumming as something pleasurable, but simply as something that I desperately need for temporary relief of this anguish. Its almost painful not to cum.

I began kissing Mommy on the face, then the neck. We said "I love you" to each other. The combination of physical intimacy, feelings of love, and my extreme horniness made me whisper to her when I kissed her ear: "Please make my life miserable Mommy. Please make me suffer. Make it hurt as much as possible" I begged her to make me her beaten, abused wife, and she agreed. In that moment, I knew that if she wanted to kill me right there, I would die for her without hesitation. I long to suffer for her and finally fulfill my potential as a human, as a slave.

She has been chatting with her new male friend again. She reminded me that he would fuck her in my bed, and I would be in the corner watching, restrained and caged. She asked "What if I said ‘I love you’ just as he’s making me cum?" This made my cock convulse involuntarily inside my cage even as my heart sank. It wasn’t clear who she would be saying it to, and it wasn’t even clear in my mind which would hurt more. Of course, I would understand completely if she started to love him, and I can only hope that she will still love me too. But even if she stops loving me, even if she starts hating me, I know my feelings for her will continue to grow.

He needs to take a certification test that Mommy has taken in the past, and she offered to help him study. This weekend she put it this way: "We need to help him study and pass the test." I asked how I could help, and she said she didn’t know yet. Of course, I will eagerly do whatever she tells me to do.

At one point, as I was using the Magic Wand on her and licking her clit around it at the same time, she came, screaming "I’m thinking about …’s cock inside me!," screaming the name of her new boyfriend. Then when I gently kissed her spent pussy after, she talked about me doing that after his cock was inside her and made her cum. She told me I would be cleaning her up with my tongue. And of course, I will.

Then later, she restrained me, let me out of my cage, and stroked me up to the edge twice, and as she did, I asked her about him. Was she attracted to him? Yes. Did she fantasize about him often? Yes, she did. Did she fantasize about him fucking her when I lick her pussy? Again, the answer was yes. Did she think of him often throughout the day? When she thinks about him does it make her wet? Yes and yes.

As she stroked my cock, she revealed to me that the reason that she wanted the bike so badly was so she could ride with manly men that turn her on, and in particular, her new boyfriend. She said that she fantasized about a romantic bike ride in the country with him. Then they might stop on the side of the road in a secluded area, and he would bend her over his bike and fuck her right there, out in the open. This image brought me to the edge despite my effort to suppress my natural reaction.

As I got close to the edge, I began yelling out, begging her to get a new bike soon so she could make this fantasy come true. She said she would, and that I would be paying for all of it. She decided that it would be a gift to her that only she would enjoy, and she was simply letting me know what she expected of me. I screamed out my agreement, and that I was close to cumming. She then stopped her stroking, and the cage went back on.

Later that night, I had unusual discomfort inside my body that I later came to realize was all the pent up cum that was brought to the fore but not released that day. My pee was milky with my sad cum for a few hours afterward, and eventually the discomfort subsided.

I have had fitful nights of sleep lately. My dreams are constant, sexually graphic, and becoming more extreme over time. Last night was no exception as I thought about Mommy and the things she said about her new boyfriend. I thought about driving her to meet him, and waiting in the car while they fuck. Driving them on their dates and waiting in the car alone and sick with hunger while they eat delicious food and laugh, enjoying each other’s company, made that much sweeter knowing the suffering they were inflicting on me. Me, paying for the dates that I can only imagine and not enjoy.

I thought about how she made me pick out her clothes for her when we thought we had a date with him. I thought about being given a list of chores to do while I was home alone, and she was out having fun with him. What if we were at her new apartment, and I was cleaning it while she was out? What if she made me clean his apartment while they were out? She might even make me strip down to my cage and take my clothes with her so I am not able to cheat and wear clothes, so I have no shred of dignity as I humiliate myself. What a disgusting, revolting creature I am. I know that Mommy is sometimes disgusted by me too, when she realizes how depraved I really am.

I am nervous about meeting this man. He will meet me knowing my secret, knowing what I am. I will have to try to greet him as a normal man, even though we both will know that I’m not. I will be even more shy than I already naturally am. I know that when I serve Mommy when we are all together, I will have to serve him as well. Maybe I will be expected to meet them both at the door the way I do Mommy, when I am able to: I will be naked, kneeling, eyes cast down, holding out drinks as they arrive in the door, so that they can leave me behind and continue to relax and enjoy each other’s company.

These thoughts make my cock strain against my cage, and they make my stomach churn. Its so strange to not be able to know the exact point where the pain and the longing meet. The pain and the pleasure have thoroughly mixed together and can’t be separated. Each time Mommy told me how much she desired her new friend, it made my own desire to worship her deepen. I am becoming so obsessed with her, and I know I will only become more obsessed the more she abuses me. It scares me to think of the things I will willingly do, and have done to me, in this altered state of mind.

Mommy is a very special person. She is desired by so many men, and women too for that matter. My sister is gay, and after meeting Mommy, she leaned over to me and commented that Mommy had "really nice tits." Is Mommy aware that when she is in the presence of other men, they are all imagining her naked, they are all thinking about how she could look bent over in front of them, how she will scream in pleasure as they violently fuck her with their big, hard cocks? I am so lucky just to be allowed in the presence of someone so special.

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