I am so horny now, it sometimes seems like its more than I can take.

Last night, Mommy made me immediately strip for her when I got home, shower, and then she put on a dog collar to lead me around by. She had had a hard day at work and was feeling very aggressive, and I was going to be the outlet for her frustration and anger. She pulled me from the bathroom by my collar, brought me into the bedroom, and pushed me against the wall, kissing me, pressing against me, grabbing my wrists and holding them above my head.

Then she dragged me to the bed, where a dog leash has been threaded through the foot of the bed frame. She attached me to it, and I had to pleasure her while straining to reach her pussy. After giving Mommy a few orgasms, she restrained me to the bed, both hands and both feet, but she also took the leash, threaded it through the head of the bed frame and attached it to my collar. This was the first time she had restrained me this way, and just this extra little thing made me really feel like an object, a thing, owned by Mommy and unable to act for myself. I was helpless and at her mercy.

She then left me alone for 10-15 minutes, while I laid on the bed, bound and in another world. When she returned, she asked what I wanted, and as I have in the past, I struggled again trying to decide what I wanted and then trying to express it, before finally saying I wanted to be unlocked. "OK, but you can’t cum." She unlocked me and spent some time stroking me. Normally, it takes me a long time to get to the edge, but I was very surprised by how quickly she brought me to the edge the first time. It felt like electricity was moving through my cock.

At times, when she was stroking me, I needed to stare off into the distance and concentrate on not cumming. Other times, I would stare into her eyes, which were sometimes cold and hard, and sometimes very caring and nurturing.

In the past, she would only bring me to the edge once or twice, but this night, she was enjoying her task. She expertly manipulated my cock and brought me to the edge more times than I could count. It let me practice my newfound talent for suppressing my arousal mentally, and for a while, I could hold off and just enjoy the intimacy of the act, even if I wasn’t enjoying the sexual stimulation. But eventually, my body betrayed me, I wore down and got close to the edge. Despite yelling for her to stop, several times she brought me to the edge and kept stroking me for several seconds after. She said "if you cum, you are going to be beaten very hard." It took every ounce of strength in my mind and body to remain faithful to her. I wondered if she was trying to make me have an accident on purpose so she could have an excuse to beat me.

Its such a mind fuck to use all your mental energy and focus to keep yourself from being aroused, as you are being aggressively stimulated. Your body feels good, responding instinctively, then you try to suppress it, and it keeps trying to get through, and you struggle to fight it off. You quickly begin to think of orgasms as a bad thing. Something to avoid, not seek out. And yet, the stimulation still feels so amazing. Your body is betraying your mind, and your mind is betraying your body, and in that impossible struggle, your mind is being destroyed.

So that night, my sleep was disturbed by many dreams that I only very vaguely remember. I know that Mommy was in them, being fucked by other men, several at a time, while I watched. When Mommy’s alarm went off, I guided her hand to my hard cock, and she started rubbing me through the bars of my cage. Being horny without release is almost physically painful, and its very emotional. I felt so weak and worthless, and I almost wanted to cry. I held her and kissed her, desperately trying for as much physical intimacy as possible. She is in complete control of me, and I am completely dependent on her for my emotional well being. I am so fragile, and I think I might break much more quickly than I thought possible.

She had to leave to get ready for work, but she noted that my cock had never been so hard inside its cage. It pulled away from my body, stretching my balls, and my cock was bursting out of every opening in the cage.

While she showered, I grabbed her pillow to smell her, and then instantly, I mounted it and started to hump it. Mommy found me this way, and seemed to be very turned on my it. She got on top of me and started humping me. She said that someday she would fuck my ass, and I would be her little bitch. She then became very aggressive, grabbing and squeezing my ass, hitting it, then biting it so that I had to scream into the pillow.

After she left, Mommy texted me this:

Stay strong, I know that you’re slowly fading away and becoming the perfect little wife…

Fading away is a good description. She doesn’t yet know what this really means, and I probably don’t either. But I can feel my mind changing, and I know that my life is changing and will never be the same again. I am having thoughts that I have never had before. There are sexual things that a few years ago I would have said were "hard limits" for me, that are now things that I think I can do, and maybe even enjoy. I am afraid to tell Mommy about some of these things. I’m afraid she will judge me harshly, and be disgusted by me and want to leave me. I’m also afraid that she won’t judge me, and my admissions will become part of her cruel plans. Desire and fear strangely coexist in my mind.

This morning as we laid together, I begged her to destroy me. I begged her to be cruel. Things that I used to fear, I am now embracing.

Leave a Reply