Everything changed for me on Saturday May 6, 2017. I was bored at work, so I logged onto Tinder and began swiping. Mostly left and I am certain a couple of right swipes. Indicating I was attracted to the guy I was looking at. One guy caught my attention, I will call him A, So I read his profile, which simply stated ” Easy going, fun guy looking for a confident woman to share adventures.”
The first few pictures made me immediately want to meet him. He was attractive, dark hair, blue eyes, and a beard. Then I swiped to his next picture and it was one of him standing in front of a mirror, with a pair of black underwear on. Normally, I would immediately disregard the guy, knowing he was only looking for sex. I was looking for much more. However there was something different about this one. I wasn’t sure what it was. So I quickly swiped right, closed the app and continued working.
After a short period of time I heard my phone vibrate, indicating I had a match, I opened it to see that it was A. He quickly sent me a message, telling me I had nice hair. I thanked him, and we began to chat. He told me almost immediately that he was looking for a dominant woman and that he would explain more when we met up. I laughed and assured him that I am in fact dominant. We agreed to meet for drinks later that night at a town midway between where we both live. That’s the funny thing. I had my search area in my profile set to about 10 miles, however A lived 50 miles away. So I am not sure how we matched. I am a strong believer in fate and meeting the people we are destined to meet. So I don’t over think the why of how we matched.
So later that night, I was running a few minutes behind, so I texted A and let him know. He said “It’s okay, just get here safely, I am sitting at the bar”. So when I arrived I entered the bar, which I had never been to and I scanned the bar. Then this guy walks up to me and said Hi, would you like to get a table or sit at the bar. I can honestly say, for a few seconds I was in awe at this man standing in front of me. He was so much better looking in person, that I wasn’t sure who he was for a brief moment. It was hard to explain. This gorgeous man standing front of me, asking questions. I would have never thought that in that moment, that that man would change my life. I was immediately lost in his eyes, they were crystal blue with long dark lashes, his face was slender, outlined with a beard and mustache, his lips were pouty and his nose, which is one of my favorite features is perfect, not big or small. It fits his face well. He towered over me, which I immediately loved.
Once I composed myself I told him we could get a table but I wanted the chair that had its back to the corner. He gently guided me to a table at the front of the restaurant, It had a large picture window, which I had my back to. It was dimly lit and very cozy.
It’s amazing to me that we seemed to click right away. Within a few minutes I excused myself to go to the bathroom. I remember texting a friend and saying “Oh my goodness this guy is beautiful”. I couldn’t believe how much different he looked in person.
When I returned, we continued talking, he had a great sense of humor. He had me laughing at a story he told me of his experience riding a scooter. That story immediately made me realize how weak he was. How overpowering I could be to him. How much I could dominate him, without even thinking about it. I ride a motorcycle, and here is this gorgeous man, sitting in front of me talking about riding a scooter. what a little bitch.
Our night continued and as the beer flowed, we shared appetizers and stories. Finally I asked him the question that had been bugging me all night. “What do you mean, you like to be dominated, explain it to me”.
This is when I assumed he was going to tell me that he likes a woman to dress in latex and heels and spank him. That’s the image I had in my mind. The typical BDSM scene that I had heard about. I wanted nothing to do with it, yet I wanted to explore him. So I was willing to listen to him.
He told me that he wasn’t talking about BDSM and that he wasn’t involved in it. He went on to tell me that he likes to be mentally abused and treated poorly. I couldn’t comprehend . Yet I wanted to get to know him. So I listened.
He leaned towards me with his left arm on his leg and his right hand gently playing with his beard, while he searched for the right words to say, he told me a secret that he held, and I could tell he was expecting me to be repulsed, to reject him, to leave, But I didn’t, instead I had a different reaction. Which was basically me saying “Yeah and…”. I wasn’t repulsed. I didn’t leave, quite the opposite. I was mesmerized and fascinated. I am not one to walk away, or judge. I am happy to this day that I made that decision.
We spent several hours laughing, talking and getting to know each other. Once it was time to end the night, we walked to my car, I asked A if he wanted to sit in my car. He looked very excited. Once in the car we talked more. The attraction was building. I wanted him to kiss me, or to lean in and give me the slightest hint that he wanted a kiss. Instead he stared, and started nibbling on his thumb, like a child. I would soon come to realize this is something he does when he’s feeling vulnerable, scared or unsure about a situation. I was able to read him so easily. It’s almost as if his thoughts are written on his face.
I asked him what he wanted at that moment and very child like, he quietly said “To kiss you”. I had to ask what he said, since he mumbled it. Once I knew he wanted to kiss I told him he could, he came in and I grabbed the back of his head. He began to whimper. Something I had never heard a man do before. The more powerful I was over him, the more he whimpered. I knew it was a good noise. This also fascinated me. We kissed for a while and when it was over he stared at me, with a childlike look on his face. He told me I would have to tell him to leave. Which I didn’t want to, but knew I had to. This night, is a night that has changed who I am, the way I think and the very core of everything I once was.