The more I am learning about BDSM, the more I don’t like it. I have to admit, I did have a preconceived notion about it that was an immediate turn off. However since meeting “A” I figured I would give it a fair chance.
My thoughts often drift to owning at least one more slave. I won’t have them fight for my entertainment as A wonders.
My mind is being gripped by A, by the thoughts of a future together. It’s hard for me to grasp what A wants sometimes. How can he love me, yet want me to be with someone else? Isn’t that completely opposite of love? I know he doesn’t understand it either.
Everything changed for me on Saturday May 6, 2017. I was bored at work, so I logged onto Tinder and began swiping. Mostly left and I am certain a couple of right swipes. Indicating I was attracted to the guy I was looking at. One guy caught my attention, I will call him A, So I read his profile, which simply stated ” Easy going, fun guy looking for a confident woman to share adventures.”
I am Mommy or sometimes Sub calls me M. I call my Sub “A”. He is the one who writes blog entries here. It’s his deep secrets that he exposes for the world to read. To find peace and his own understanding, he also writes as a way to tell me about himself without actually having to speak the words. There has been times in the past that he will say “I am not okay” or “I am not well” and he can’t say it without crying a painful cry. Those words pierce his soul and mind. So it’s just easier for him to write what he wants to say. Reading his writings is a comfort to me.